Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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