I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
