Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think my nap took me to another dimension
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
