dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
