honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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