I accidentally had phone sex last night
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
