a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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