I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
