i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize