Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
