I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize