No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
