Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
