I seem to have left my pride at pride
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
