She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
