I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
