You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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