dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
