Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
