Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
