Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
