its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
