Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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