no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
