So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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