eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
