Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
