i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
