If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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