Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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