Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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