there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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