I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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