Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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