How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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