We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
