Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think i scared a bird with my dick
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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