He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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