People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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