we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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