it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Everything about him screamed your future.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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