Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
