We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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