Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
