Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
