i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
