If i come over, it means nothing
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
