your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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