So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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