Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize