I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so let's talk penis.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
