I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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