i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
