is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
