we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
