I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
