her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
