You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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