if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
